Welcome to my Blog!
Welcome. My name is Tamar Massoyan, author of The Second Fire. I’m so happy to have you as a visitor to my blog about my new book. This project is very special to me, and I hope to share some of that excitement with you here.
I’ll be using this blog to interact with you about The Second Fire, expanding on some of the topics in it and blogging on some of the ideas related to my book. This is a great place for you to get to know me, and I’m looking forward to getting to know you, too. What did you think of The Second Fire? What questions do you have for me? How do you relate to my book?
I’ll be returning here frequently with new posts and responses to feedback from you. Until next time, tell me a little bit about yourself.
Although I can’t directly relate to the lived experience of perimenopause, your writing made it accessible in a way that felt human, not distant. The themes of shedding shame, reclaiming identity, and stepping into a more honest version of oneself translated far beyond biology.
Chapter 8 – “The Role of Men” especially stood out to me. It didn’t feel like critique for the sake of critique—it felt like an invitation. An invitation to support and learn. That resonated deeply. It made me reflect on how masculinity can support this transformation.
How do you see men best supporting their partners through this phase without overstepping or minimizing the experience?
Thank you for writing something that bridges understanding instead of dividing it. I walked away with more empathy and a bit more clarity about my own role in shared growth.
-Brad
Brad,
First, thank you. Comments like yours remind me why I wrote this book in the first place. My goal was never to write a book “for women” that would leave men standing outside looking in. It was to build a bridge. I love that you described Chapter 8 as an invitation, because that’s exactly what I hoped it would be.
If I could offer one piece of advice to men, it would be this: “don’t try to fix her—try to understand her.”
Perimenopause isn’t just about hormones. It’s often a season where a woman is grieving parts of herself while discovering new ones at the same time. She may not recognize her own emotions, her body, or even her reactions. The greatest gift a partner can offer isn’t having all the answers—it’s creating a safe place where she doesn’t have to apologize for the questions.
Listen more than you explain. Stay curious instead of defensive. Believe her when she tells you something feels different, even if you can’t see it yourself. Ask, “What do you need from me today?” instead of assuming you know the answer. And perhaps most importantly, don’t take every hard day personally.
One of the biggest misconceptions is that perimenopause changes who a woman is. I don’t believe that’s true. I think it strips away who she had to become to survive. It exposes what was always there underneath, and that can feel unsettling for everyone involved. But if a couple chooses to walk through that season together, it can actually deepen intimacy instead of destroying it.
I truly believe men have an incredibly important role in this journey—not as spectators or rescuers, but as partners. When a woman feels seen instead of dismissed, believed instead of questioned, and loved without having to earn it, healing becomes possible.
Thank you again for taking the time to read the book with such an open heart. The fact that you walked away with more empathy tells me the bridge reached the other side—and that’s more meaningful to me than you know.
Warmly,
Tamar